underneath it all
You let yourself believe there was nothing to worry about. That whatever existed between you and Jinshi could remain contained, untouched by expectation or consequence. He was a eunuch, and that truth made everything else easy to ignore. But now you know better. Now you see him as he truly is, and there is no undoing that. Not after he tells you the truth. The way he looks at you feels different. The way you respond does too. You find yourself faltering where you once stood steady, your composure slipping under the weight of something you were never meant to feel. You should pull away. You should remember your place. But even as the danger settles in, quiet and suffocating, you realize you have already gone too far to pretend this means nothing.
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